You Know You're the Wife of a Cattleman If...

You know you're the wife of a cattleman if....
(the beginning of my own personal collection)

#1: We blood-pregnancy tested several "iffy" cows yesterday.  I took the vials, all boxed up, to town this morning to mail to the lab to get the testing done.  How excited/anxious can I get to get the results back before it becomes weird?  It's close to the same feeling as if I peed on a little stick myself!

#2: I think nothing of carrying a boxful of vials full of cow blood to town.  Yep, right there riding along on the passenger seat.

#3: During testing, I got fresh cow blood (which is like, WAY different than blood from a steak!) all over my hands and didn't freak.  Or even ask for soap and water.  Or an antibacterial wipe.  Nothing.  I've become immune to the yuck factor.

#4:  I was told... um, er... asked at lunch to be the vial label-er, arranger and record keeper.  Twenty minutes later, blood... See #3.

#5: Watching my husband stick his hands up bovine unmentionables doesn't phase me a bit. (But if you want to read about the hows and the whats of the unmentionables, go here Unmentionables Explained to a past post.)

#6:  Neither does having an in depth conversation over lunch (which was, ironically, a beef T-bone steak grilled to perfection!) about cow cervix size verses heifer cervix size and which one should the first for me to try to learn on phase me.  Not a bit.

#7:  Having my Honey take my hand and inspect my arm, just to be seriously told that my freakishly long, slender-like arms would be perfect for preg-checking and AI'ing is a compliment of sincerest form.  And I take it as such... it's either laugh or cry, right?

#8:  Bull sperm donor names are talked about in conversation as if they are old friends and no explanation is needed when a name is mentioned.  "Yeah, I gotta go get more Long Distance this afternoon.  You and the kids wanna take a Jeep ride?"

Got semen?

This will soon be a whole 'nother post on it's own.

Can't wait... can ya?  You're just giddy with excitement and curiosity, aren't ya?

#9:  I have a favorites folder on my computer labeled "Little Swimmers".

#10:  I have to gently explain to my children that not every child needs to know the cattle related definition/nickname of "banding", "boys", "balls", "ding-a-lings" or "have they dropped off yet?"; nor do my children need to feel the need to be the one to fill in their peers on the anatomy of the birds and the bees of the cows.  I have shhhh'd more than one beginning of what could have been a very interesting conversation among my kids and other lads and lasses.  (If you need an explanation, go here Why ding-a-lings have to go bye-bye, caption of seventh picture.)

#11: Having "jug-o-lube" on the errand list for Friday town day is completely normal:  Fareway, post office, bank, Jaarmsma and... "jug-o-lube".  (I dropped my errand list at Bible study one day a couple of years ago and thankfully, oh so thankfully, the sweet lady who found my list didn't read it!  If you need explanation,click on the link.  What does she mean, "Jug-o-Lube"?  Fifth paragraph will tell you what you need to know.)

There are many more reasons, but these are just the eleven I thought of real quick that has come up in the last 24 hours. Well, all but #8.  That was last week.

It's been fun.  I'll have to keep adding to it.

Moo.